Occasionally, we are presented with an opportunity with which we wrestle feverishly. Having experienced a string of lean months without film jobs in sight, it is increasingly difficult to say “no.” Yet, this is where we find ourselves this week. My husband was offered a position in New York, and though the pay was modest, it was tempting to keep riding the wave of film work. But, back-to-back features wear on a marriage, especially when the jobs are away from home. And as he thoughtfully presented me with the options, we discussed the pro’s and con’s of the job. Tonight, over spaghetti and meatballs, we discussed our mutual decision to decline the offer.
A precious friend asked me the other day, “What do you do when [your husband] is working?” In truth, I was touched that someone had even asked the question. I frequently have difficulty engaging in peer conversations about rearing children, the 9-5 work life, planned time off and leisurely weekends; I am learning to relate in different ways. I recognize that our married life is off-beat from the typical suburban life. Though I work traditional banker’s hours, I often manage our rental company before and after my “day job.” Many days, I have softly held a trembling elderly hand and ten minutes later found myself stacking aluminum pipe and counting ratchet straps. It’s a gear shift that makes me chuckle.
When my husband is working on a feature film, his schedule changes considerably during the course of production. Some scenes are filmed during daytime hours–some at night. The worst weeks are full of “splits,” which means he leaves for work midday and comes home in the wee hours of the morning. It takes a lot of mental adjustment. I often nap in the evening, so I can be awake for an hour or two when he gets home, just to have a conversation. We rarely know what to expect more than two or three days out.
I try to occupy my time with knitting projects, reading, heading out in thunderstorms to take photos, working on my screenplay, cleaning/reorganizing (a challenge with a mound of film gear constantly stacked by the couch), gardening, etc. I am happy in solitary pursuits, though those days arise when I come home from work to an empty home and think, “Man, I really don’t feel like being alone tonight.” I need to do a better job of reaching out to others and developing deeper friendships. Truth is, I am a socially shy person. I thrive in my professional world, but I find personal connection more challenging. It is an area of my life that God’s mercy continues to reform.
My husband and I are hoping that God will supply a local film job that will give us the opportunity to worship together at church on Sundays and have a date night or two. Also, we deeply treasure the time we share with our friends–as a couple and particular friends we enjoy on our own.
So again, we walk in faith, trusting that God will supply our every need–whether He uses Bollywood, Stein Mart commercials or Septa. He does have a sense of humor.